There will be times that I can’t post exactly what my day is like. Mostly because it would embarrass my Mom. Today is one of those days. But the start of my morning was rather hectic to say the least. In the end, Mom has her coffee, her cheese, she’s eaten breakfast and all is well. Except the extremely sore swollen legs and the new blister on her right leg now. This is not going to be easy to keep sanitary. The boys are both still asleep, Dad’s still in bed and Jim is out shooting his air rifle. I’m enjoying coffee in front of the computer listening to Mom’s vitals monitor asking her to please step on the scale. She fell back to sleep.
I’m expecting a nurse in before too long, and I really need to get some stuff done that I have been neglecting. Jim’s off tomorrow so it will be easier. We have a meeting at school for Eddie. Ed has ADHD and generalized anxiety, and he has a speech delay that kept him behind his peers in his education. He still, at times, will talk so fast that you have to ask him to slow down and repeat himself. But he’s come a long way. I’m proud of him. Tomorrow is his IEP meeting. I’m sure we’ll hear some good things about him, we usually do.
Jamey didn’t eat last night. We did stop and eat when we went out for his bloodwork, so he had something in his stomach yesterday. We’ll see how today goes, and Tuesday is coming up fairly quickly. I couldn’t sign into the hospitals portal yesterday, so I’ll have to wait until his doctor emails me on his numbers. Yesterday marked four years that we have been dealing with Children’s now. Almost 1/5 of his lifetime.
I think that’s the most heartbreaking thing for me besides watching him struggle with the pain. It’s how much time he has lost. He can still capture an almost normal life eventually. But I do mourn the loss of his dreams, probably a bit more than he does. And let’s face it, it’s the loss of my dreams for him as well. The hope to watch him grow and move on with his friends, college, career. Things he actually can still have, on a delayed schedule. That’s what I need to remind myself. He was never going to play college ball. He was never a super star (except in my eyes). And the things he did loose? He can still have, it’s just going to be a rougher road for him. It depends on how much he wants it and how much he can physically push himself (as well as mentally.)
What were your high school dreams? Did you succeed in them? I wanted to be a journalist. A writer. Maybe I am finally realizing that dream?