It’s been a lazy Sunday today. We got good news on the car. Actually the best we can hope for. It will be released tomorrow. It has been a long two weeks, and I know Jim feels the same. Now we have to do our best for it not to happen again. I’m not sure where the cuts are coming from, but they need to come.
I’ve been working on my goals for next year. I refuse to say resolutions. I’m horrid at resolutions. If I make a goal though, I do somewhat strive for it. One thing I need to do for certain is some sort of Christmas club. I need to save money so that I’m not so stressed about Christmas for the boys.
Jim and I haven’t exchanged gifts in years. I don’t worry about us. I want the boys to have. Maybe it sounds strange to some that I haven’t had a Christmas or birthday present in years, but it’s normal for me. I never expect much. Not only does it lead to less disappointments, but it’s cheaper. I’ve never been a high maintenance type of person, and honestly, if I want something through out the year, and we have the extra money, I get it. And I am not the easiest person to buy for. The boys’ happiness is my happiness. That makes it easy peasy.
And if we don’t have the extra cash on hand, I do without. I have what I absolutely need. I have a cell phone, I have my computer (things I don’t absolutely need but make life much more enjoyable) I don’t need fancy gadgets or baubles. Things can be taken away in a heartbeat, memories are much more important. People are much more important. My boys are the most important. One day, I’ll be able to get more, ut some day, I won’t have my boys here every day, I won’t have the argueing, I won’t have the smart aleck come backs (without making phone calls at least) I’ll take what I have now. It’s more fulfilling than any fancy shampoo
I’m working on finding Blog Parties for every day. It’s more difficult than I thought though. A lot of them are faith based, a lot creative or do it yourself kinda stuff. I pride myself on being more spiritual, mainly because I’ve had some pretty bad experiences with organized religion. Don’t get me wrong, I completely respect everyone’s faith. Sometime’s faith is all we have to hold on to in times of need. I would never mock anyone for turning to that. But, despite the past three popes making enormous strides towards interfaith healing, the majority of Christians still see only their own faith. The major religions do worship one God who has a person who speaks for him, in Christianity, that person is Jesus. But I doubt even Jesus would critic a man of God who listened to Buddha or Mohammed.
Plus, I have issue with the fact that a man who rapes children can become an ordained minister in prison. But that’s a personal conflict. My beliefs are my own and they are all inclusive. If we were born from one man and one woman long ago, then we are all brothers and sisters by blood and by soul. I believe we are born who we are, and that God created us all a bit differently for a purpose. We are meant to celebrate those differences. And yes, I feel God created some of straight, some of us not, I believe that for whatever reason, He sometimes gives us the wrong bodies to match who we really are and we are supposed to love and nurture each other in order for us to find our way. If I’m wrong, I’ll find out someday. But at least I’ve lived in love while making others feel safe and cherished for who they are not what they can do for me.
I am not a big fan of winter and even though Old Man Winter doesn’t officially show his ugly mug until later this week, we’ve had some pretty crappy weather the past couple of days. The forecast for Tuesday is 36 F. I have to be in Pittsburgh Tuesday afternoon. I am not a happy camper. To make it worse, Jamey’s in a bad pain flare with an equally bad attitude. It’s to be expected. Honestly, I’m not all sunshine and roses in pain. The pain he deals with on a daily basis would drive most to be committed. Winter makes it worse. His size makes it worse. When you’re my size, you can layer without looking like the abominable snowman. His size makes him look quite Yeti-ish. And he despises the Big Foot jokes thrown his way. Of course, I am the second biggest offender.
I set up this appointment last week. He’s been going through a few things that are quite troubling. He’s been losing time and forgetting different things for a while now. He actually asked for the room where the guns are stored to be padlocked. Right now, that is all happening more often on top of his temper being even shorter than normal. He’s scaring himself and acting out of character more often. It could be any number of things. A reaction to his medication, something to do with the migraines or constant pain, it could be a chemical imbalance in the brain, or possibly a build up of ammonia in the blood. The last is the most troubling. Excess ammonia is an issue with H.E. (Hepatic Encephalopathy). It can lead to a coma and only 20% of HE patients who go into a coma ever wake up. Liver Disease is no joke.
OK, back to my goals. I will be posting more about them as this year finally closes. 2016 has been a rotten year for many of us. I’m actually thinking of getting a couple sage sticks and crystals and doing a full out exorcism on the house. And I’m only half joking about that. There has been so much negativity this year. From going no where with Jamey’s health (outside of no cancer, extremely grateful there) to money troubles (always) loosing both my Mom and my Mother in Law and an aunt. My uncle has cancer. It’s been bad. But not all bad truthfully.
I found my cousin’s address last week and sent him a Christmas card. I haven’t talked to him since I was about 13, at his dad’s funeral. He’s one of the cousins who is much older than me. There are 19 years between my Grandma’s oldest and youngest. She was actually a Grandma when my Uncle Jim was born. I’m in the middle of the group age wise. Gary called me yesterday. And he’s in touch with his brother who I haven’t seen since then as well. When my aunt passed, I was in Colorado and she knew that there was no way I could make it back home at that time. Her last words to me were to take care of my boys. And I have. And now I found her boys as well.
I want to talk to Rick and have an actual conversation with Gary that doesn’t include hmmm and ugh. He caught me off guard. I won’t let it happen again.
Is there anyone you’re missing from your life that you wish you could touch base with?