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It’s going to be a sleepless night. I have issues sleeping before his appointments. I shouldn’t, mostly because I need to be completely on my game, but the stress of making sure I have all my ducks in a row really feels like a lot. It’s gotten easier honestly and sadly. When Mom was alive, appointment days meant that I needed to make sure she had everything she needed before we left.

Before I became smart enough to make the appointments in the afternoon, that meant I had to get everything for her, Jamey, Ed and myself all while Jim was getting ready to go to work. Ed does NOT do well getting himself out the door. It’s not that he absolutely needs his Mom, he likes to have me to talk to in the mornings. I’m not about to complain about that one. Jim has absolutely no patience in the mornings. If you’re not ready when he is, it ruins his entire day. And Jamey won’t be rushed. Obviously, it makes for a delightful morning. 

Without Mom, it means that we don’t have to do everything silently. But I would still rather have her here than ease of yelling at my fifteen year old to get out of the bathroom. It’s been a difficult few months. I miss her. The things that annoyed me seem petty now. In the grand scheme of things, I guess they really were. 

My darling father is driving me nuts now. He has such a fatalist attitude. We’ll be getting the car back today. He wanted it yesterday. He worked himself up into a frenzy of nit picking and bullying because it didn’t work out the way he wanted it to. I was the one he was focused on bullying. There was absolutely nothing I could do. Jim can’t get off work. Until last night, he was the only one who had the authority to get the car. And I’m fairly sure authorising my nephew is going to end up biting me in the butt because Dad will be offended. BUT, Justin was willing to do it and we can trust him. 

Speaking of Justin, it should be funny later at MarMac Tire. Justin plans on claiming Jim as his Dad.  There’s enough family resemblance for him to do it too.  Our neighbor, who has known the boys for the majority of their lives, thought Justin was Jamey not to long ago. And Justin acts more like Jim than Jamey does. Ed takes firmly after his mother. Jim will be out on a call most likely when Justin gets there, but I really wish I could be a fly on the wall when Justin gets there. He’s the one in the yellow. Jamey’s in light gray and Ed is forever in camo. 

Jim was supposed to take the Christmas tree downstairs last night. Supposed to. It didn’t happen. I’m positive that I will hear about that at some point today.  No one really is in the Christmas spirit. I have a few things for the boys. A couple more things to get, but with both of our Mom’s passing this summer, it just doesn’t feel like a holiday. I know I have to get out of this funk, but I am really looking forward to a new year and putting 2016 into the history books as a horrible year. 

The boys are older. Jamey’s still so sick. We’re all grieving.  Maybe that’s exactly why I should find some Christmas spirit? Ed keeps saying that Christmas will be weird, and he’s right. He has never known a Christmas without Grandma. We moved back to PA when he was two. Last year, he went over to the neighbors. Heck last year, he crashed their Thanksgiving dinner.  

Coffee’s on, my Mini Mister is home sick. The man is off to work. Minus the sick kiddo, everything is going to plan so far. He has a doctors appointment tomorrow. And once his tummy settles, he’ll be slave labor. He’s had some GI issues for a couple of years now. Most likely the stress of not having a car, his grandfathers reaction to it, and the holidays without Grandma are getting to him. The appointment will be good for him. 

My Mini is a sensitive soul. He’s easy going for the most part, but once that fuse is lit, theres hell to pay for the one on the wrong end of it. I’ve been there, Jamey’s been there. In first grade a second grader ended up with a bloody nose because of it. he’s funny and corny normally though. He makes friends easily and he’s got a heart of gold. He’s friends with some of the same people from kindergarten. I could brag a lot about some of his actions, but I taught the boys that kindness is a deed that is expected and so is humility. Bragging about helping someone always makes someone feel awkward. And that’s not being kind, that’s seeking glory.  I would rather the boys know they did well without the pat on the back from the internet. And believe me, they get praise when they do well. 

The coffee pot is gurgling, the sun is actually up. I have the downstairs heating up (My father turned the furnace down to 60 last night brrrrr) Time for my coffee and Facebook. Then a few chores before I head into Pittsburgh. Wish us luck. 

What are you looking forward to in 2017?