Coffee Chat~ Lessons

This will be my first official Coffee Chat even though I’ve been chatting with ya all over coffee since the beginning of any of my blogs. We were asked “What was your biggest lesson learned in 2016?” Well, that’s a hard one, because 2016 was full of hard, tough lessons. 

The biggest one was “You are never fully prepared no matter how much you think you are.” 

Of course, I’m talking about losing my mom. 

When I walked in, all those years ago, and saw her on a ventilator: I thought I was prepared for the worst. When they told us to call in the family then, I thought I was prepared. Every Time they told us that she didn’t have long, I thought I was prepared. I wasn’t. 

That phone call hit me straight in the solar plexis. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I know I got through all the phone calls (seriously folks, don’t ask if someone is kidding if they call to tell you someone died while they are in a straight up panic. ) I know I some how got through Jamey’s appointment and got home. But, I got hit again when Dad came down those stairs on the phone. I did NOT want him to learn that way. Everything else is a blur (other than my sisters playing on Mom’s stabilizer bar like it was a stripper pole, but that’s another story for another day.) 

My Mother in Law died the month before. We weren’t in contact because of my brother in law. Any time we had gone over before, he was there, and I refused to allow him around the boys. He spent 6 years in prison for molesting his step daughter. My In Laws decided to take his side over the fact that I would not allow the boys around him. We lived with it. I have no regrets. And then, every time my Mother in Law saw Jim, she called him Micheal. That hurt. He wanted nothing to do with it. I can’t blame him. Two losses in less than a month. My aunt made three.

It’s still hard to talk about Mom. We’ve passed the five month mark now. Her birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Years are over. My nephew, the oldest grandson, was married afterwards. We still have a few firsts with out her to get through.

A long time ago, when Jamey first became sick, I learned never to even think “What next?” or “What else?”. The universe has a funny way of showing you. And not with any thread of comedy.

You can’t prepare. You can’t expect. And even going with the flow? Sometimes you sink to the bottom. It’s a heck of a fight to reach the top again. I’ll let you know when I get there. 


What was the biggest lesson 2016 taught you? 


11 thoughts on “Coffee Chat~ Lessons

  1. Please accept my condolences for your losses. It sounds like 2016 was a very difficult year, and i hope this one brings you and your family joy, peace, and comfort.

    1. Thank you very much. And may 2017 bring you everything you hope for πŸ™‚ Nice to meet you!

  2. I can relate to this so well. I received a call at work on Dec. 30th seven years ago telling me that my Dad had died and one 22 years ago in the middle of the night saying that Mom had passed. In both cases I knew their time on earth was drawing to a close, but you are so right in your lesson that one is never prepared for the blow to the heart. I can tell you that after all these years I still dread those two days and the memories they bring, and I still miss my parents. Time does not really make the loss easier, we just learn to live with it. You will find your way again, trust that it happens, but first there is a lot of mourning to do. HUGS

    1. And that’s what we’re all in the process of. Dad’s having the roughest time. Thank you so much for your kind words.

  3. My mom and dad are gone now and it is something that is no longer raw,,,but is still so sad, especially when I think of something I want to tell them. I am just not ready for my husband to make that journey and fight so hard to keep him well.

    1. My oldest son will eventually need a liver transplant. I know exactly what you mean. I don’t know where I would be without my husband as well. You’ll remain in my prayers, Being part of a medical family is stressful.

  4. I am so very sorry for your losses!!! That was a lot of grief to get hit with in a short period of time, not to mention the other issues you have mentioned. Indeed 2016 was a tough year. You wrote so eloquently and beautifully though, and I thank you for the honour of sharing it with us. I have the eternal belief that Hope floats, so I pray that should I sink to the bottom (which certainly I will) that I will remember that and claw my way back up to where hope waits. Wishing you so many rich blessings in 2017. Thanks for joining us this week.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. It was fun joining in and I plan on making it a weekly thing as long as I am welcome. Thank you for such a fun Link up!

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