I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself

And I gotta stop it. I know we all have days like this. There are times that we just don’t have what we want and disappointment takes over. I think that’s how we handle that disappointment that speaks volumes on our character.

I miss my computer. I really miss my graphics. The time is coming. I can’t allow myself to forget that. Everything is working out just as it’s supposed to. Although, I wish I could rush the timeline.

Oh, I know, I’m entitled. I’m on a smartphone with internet whining about what I don’t have. I am well aware that others have it worse than I do. I’m blessed. I know it and I do appreciate it. But the moment we stop dreaming, the moment we stop wanting is the moment we die.

I won’t feel guilty of having hopes and dreams. It will be all about how I fulfill those dreams. In the past, I’m very guilty of taking care of those before responsibilities. That part, I am changing. That is why I am sitting here on a smartphone whining about what I don’t have.

My phone is barely holding on, but I am babying it with all I have to keep it going. Am I complaining? It does sound like it, but I’m not really. I’ll eventually replace it. When I can do so without worrying about what’s not going to get paid in it’s stead. I appreciate that I still have it after a year and a half. It’s not top of the line, but it works and it’s mine. It’s paid for.

And here I go again ranting.

Ok, so there are times that I need to remind myself what I do have. I’m human. Very very human.

I actually was able to sleep today. The past two nights have been rough. At about three or four am, total exhaustion sets in. Last night was bad! I had to go outside to try to wake up. Winter has shown up here in South Western PA. At least it worked.

Well, it’s time to get dinner going. And get ready for another night. Right now my husband is chanting “I killed Sirus Black” while watching “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. No, he’s not completely confused, he just wants to watch the history channel and I vetoed it.

Edited to add: I was looking through my media already uploaded on the blog. I really already have a lot I can use. A month and a half. That’s really not all that long after 8 months.

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